There are days when I really struggle to focus on the positive.
And yesterday was one of them.
Now, I'm not complainin', I'm just sayin', not every day is butterflies and rainbows. (And that's okay. But it's also okay to say that I prefer the butterflies and rainbows.)
Here's what caused my day to be a pain:
* I have a cold--sore throat and fever.
Translation = very little rest and very little energy.
* It's the final few days of school.
The kids have a lot of different places and parties to be at. Different places. Different parties. Different times. (And I am anti "spend your life in the car" driving to appointments. It makes no sense to me.)
* It's the final 7 days of my spring term semester at BYU.
Translation = everyone wants to graduate in August and that requires passing my class.
Translation = lots of pleading emails and phone calls this week.
* Jr and LuLu had probably the hardest day on record since they came into our family.
If it's possible for a day to be longer than 24 hours, then yesterday was. Jr and LuLu were sad, missing things from their previous life/home/family, and struggling to understand how, at 6 and 10, they came to find themselves living a completely new life.
I felt for them. It's hard to watch them struggle. And in all honesty, it's painful and depressing--for everyone, not only them.
And though I try my best to help them through this, and to explain to them--it's still hard to go through.
I really believe that some life experiences are like math problems--and sometimes we just aren't ready to understand the math problem. It's like someone put us in Calculus, but we haven't had the basics. Does that mean you will never solve the math problem? No, of course you'll solve it. BUT, maybe not for years. And most of us don't like working on solutions for YEARS. We want solutions NOW. (Can't I Google this?)
Anyway, I'm really not complaining, I'm just saying, after learning about adoption for the last 16 years, I still struggle to understand it some days. And yesterday was one of those days.
********
Shockingly, that was just the tip of the Crappy Day Iceberg yesterday. I think that was maybe 5 of the 25 seriously bummer things that happened.
But you know what, it's a new day. I don't know that the rest of it matters.
It's history, really.
New day.
Reset. Reboot.
Start anew.
